I hate this feeling because I’m really not okay. All day long I help out my family, my friends, you know whenever they need me. I smile and laugh and pretend to enjoy my day. But I’m honestly such a mess. Some nights lying in bed, I just cry. No one’s around to actually hear me out. I can’t take it sometimes. I hate talking about my problems, I’d rather just help someone else. I hate going on like this, like I’m gonna be okay, like things are eventually gonna be okay. Well it’s been so long now and they haven’t gotten better. They’ve gotten WORSE. I know the saying, that it always gets worse before it gets better, BUT WHEN DOES THE BETTER PART START? Seriously? How much more worse is it gonna get? I hate this. I just want it to stop. I just wanna be okay. I love my family and friends so much and I don’t want them to know I’m such a wreck. I don’t want them to know I’m falling apart. I want their help and comfort so bad but at the same time I want them to think I’m just fine. I don’t know what to do. I just wanna be okay.
OK, so I finally unveiled WildChild Lux: Season 2 on our Facebook page! The difference between the first one and season 2 is the quality (both the shirt & its printing), so it’s more pricey yet worth it. :) Here are a few shots.
Again… Thank you so much to everyone who e-mailed me this week. You guys are all amazing, especially to the Usapang Lalake fans. I love you all! :)
So if there’s gonna be a chance for me to get a camcorder, I will start making video blogs or maybe random stuff that I’m doing. For now let us all stick to the reading! I’ll be saving money to buy one. :)
Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means that you are two steps ahead.
This will be the last time I’ll be posting this negativity. I’m putting an end to this pointless drama that has been going for quite some time. We are all different and I get the point that we don’t need to please people to like us.-but that doesn’t mean we are free to say anything nasty to anyone. Like I said previously, there is no need to bash people especially to the ones you barely know. It’s really getting old.
It’s already the third season of Usapang Lalake on Studio23. The producers neglected my sponsorship (Wildchild Lux Clothing) offer for the cast members. But last night I was on a roll to give another shot then I’m got it. Again. YAY!
I am truly thankful of God and all His wonderful blessings. More to come for my line, hopefully!
I would also like to thank all the Usapang Lalake fans for liking the WildChild Lux Clothing page on Facebook! (www.facebook.com/wildchildlux) and all the kind words. You are all amazing!
I think everything in life is art. What you do.. How you dress.. The way you love someone, and how you talk. Your smile and your personality. What you believe in, and all your dreams. The way you drink your tea. How you decorate your home. The food you make. How your writing looks. And the way you feel. Life is art.
I’ve been having the same feeling lately. Still able to put on a big smile on my face and have goose bumps for no reasons. It’s a real shitty great feeling though. Idk. I love all the people in my life right now… People I’ve been talking to… They are all amazing.
So I’m being asked a lot about relationships. Well here’s my side.. I had a breakdown from the last relationship that I was in. I would always cry, doubt and let all of the bs get into me. Not a good one. Right now I guess I am too damaged to get into one. I don’t like relationships coz I’m scared to feel the same shit over and over. Plus I’m tired of giving my very best to someone and none in return. I wish that guys would be more sensitive… and show their best efforts to the girl they like.—That way a girl just might change her mind.
Everyone’s been pretty amazing to me lately, and I am very much thankful for having these people in my life. :) and a whole lot of others too. :)
Here’s the thing. I hate drama. I don’t know why some people are in need to start one and bash people they barely know. This is really getting old, why can’t these people just grow the hell up? If you believe that you are a grown and well-educated person you should know better. All that’s been happening lately I’ve been so relaxed and silent, but now it’s getting too crazy not to tolerate it. If you wanna know something, you ask.. You don’t quiet yourself and act all clean to me then start assuming things to other people for them to pity you and calling me silly names. Your false accusations about me will not make you any better. And you even had the audacity to let everyone know how thankful you are to God, out of all the stuff you’ve been bitching about? You think you made God proud? Please.
There are a lot of stuff going on with me right now and I cannot afford having another one. I had enough, this is just too much for me.
Life is pretty messed up sometimes. just have to keep our heads up. something good always comes out of that.. wasn’t meant to be
It’s funny how you can think you know someone and just when you start to get close their true colors show. They are just like the rest..
You don’t need to change for someone. He/she should accept you for who you really are.
At this point I can put on a smile and say I’m happy and mean it. Since someone pulled me out of all the sorrows, I feel more positive and smitten. It sounds kind of nuts and all but I can’t fully explain the feeling. :) -And please don’t put a meaning in to this. I’m just happy, not in love. haha! I had enough bs with relationships. :)
I don’t really get the point of trashing people over the internet. Like for every school they have this semi-“gossip girl” where they can humiliate and say bad stuff about a person. Someone once told me that the television is one of Satan’s tool for us to do bad things and you know what, I’m really starting to believe in it. Some people try to apply their lives through a t.v. show or even in a movie. Well guess what? It’s never going to happen… Why? There are no bathroom breaks.
There’s just so much hate in this world. I’m not gonna sugarcoat myself and say let’s just all get along coz it’s not possible to happen. We are all different but it doesn’t mean we have to judge one another.. We all have our flaws.. we make mistakes, learn from it and move on. There’s no need to bash people down and make them feel horrible.
Thanks to everyone who liked WildChild Lux page on Facebook!(www.facebook.com/wildchildlux) Sorry if I had to turn down a few offers. :( I appreciate all the e-mails/text I get from all of you.
I love The Beatles! There’s just something about their music that makes it all amazing. :)
And The Beatles truly inspired me, especially John Lennon… He’s amazing. “Dear Prudence” was composed by John Lennon, and that song really enlighten me. Like whenever I hear that song it just made my day. :)
It’s late, insomnia attacks and it sucks! So I thought maybe I’d pour something out here… I don’t understand how some people are being so abusive, they take take take never give a shit about you, and it annoys me like hello I have a life too. Everything is NOT about you, sweetheart. Besides the shitty stuff that has been around, I’m really glad I’ve finally moved on with the past… Like go away negativities, nobody fvcking needs you here! I know better, and I did not regret anything coz I did learn a lot but holding on to pointless stuff is total bs. All I needed was friends, who talks to me even though there’s nothing more to say. You know I’m starting to care about them too, even though they were kinda new in my life. I feel lucky and proud of having the strength to let it all go. Now I’m still drowning in to family dramas. It’s like an everyday-to-deal-with day routine, and I’m fvcking tired of it. I believe I have a whole life ahead of me even though I’m young I can achieve anything with God’s guidance. Like you know, stand up for something coz you believe in it. I’m a risk-taker I’d do anything to be able to make it.. Whatever it takes. But if some are trying to hold that against you it sucks big time. OK, I might sound like a hypocrite but hey I have a lot of dreams and I want to reach them. It’s better to be ambitious than not giving a shit to your future. I don’t know anymore… This issue makes me sad, like I can’t barely move now. I know a lot of people who would be there for me through thick and thin but like can’t be there to take this all away. God is my only hope and trying to make my everyday’s be blessed and fine. I’m fully contented with what I have right now, but if there are opportunities to grab I’d take it for sure. Life is too short to just stand in the line and think what could have been, if you can be so much more.. Wouldn’t that be the greatest?
A wise girl kisses but doesnt love, listens but doest believe, and leaves before she is left.
My head’s been a mess lately, it’s like over and over. Full blown hypochondria and complicated people, I’m tired of how they always take me for granted. Actually hated myself for letting these people do this to me, as if there were no emotions involved. I’m just sick of how they have to take everything this far.
I’m planing to ask my mom to enroll me to school (different school), coz I feel like 2x stupid without attending to one. And of course, this time I want it to be different… Fashion Design & Merchandising (FDM) was my first course when I started college, and I can’t say that it wasn’t for me coz I did learn a lot and I am very much passionate about being a designer—but for 2 years I think it’s enough. I mean I love everything about fashion and I know I can still learn about it on my own. Remember guys, most of the important things in life cannot be learned in school.
Before I got into college the course I really wanted was Mass Communication. Anything that has something to do with communication subjects and I can’t fully explain why. LOL So if there’s another chance for me to go back and attend college, the course I want is Broadcast Communication. :)
Finally have the chance to gather everything to create this mood board. This is basically stuff that I’m into right now or stuff that I miss… It’s random. LOL
I’m giving a little update for WCL. So last Saturday was the first batch of my shirts that were sold and I am glad that the customers loved it. :) THANKS GUYS!
If people say something bad about you, judge you as if they know you, don’t get let it bother you. Just think dogs never bark if they know the person.
Cause sometimes, you just feel tired. Feel weak. And when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up. But you gotta search within you. You gotta find that inner strength, and just pull that shit out of you. And get that motivation to not give up and not be a quitter. No matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.
Dream what you want to dream, be who you gotta be, I never wanna be the one who kept you from being free. But boy, I gotta know what you want, ‘cause I’ve takin’ all I can take. So just go if you wanna go, stay if you wana stay.-DON’T FUCKING STAY. PLEASE.
There’s always room for love; You just have to move a few things around.
Drama never ends, and haters are all the same. They smile to your face, but they spit on your name.
Go ahead now, admit it - ou like our world with me in it. Like a record, it’s broken. & I’m a bump you’ll never get over.
This was so 2009 when I finally got home from CA. :)
It all started 3 years ago when I was in California, I think I was 17 years old. I got hooked up with the OC life and the eventuality. As corny as it sounds, that place was to be the foundation of what my life has become today. After falling in love with the atmosphere and lifestyle, and immersed myself in a world fueled solely by the love of Orange County. I knew, from that very moment, that this world was where my heart longed to be. So my accessory line revolves around the OC and at the same time a little bit of Hollywood-y. It was first named “Eloquent” because I think that my accessories speaks (like not literally) but like it does the job for you, it’s basically an attention seeker.
I changed the name to “Fashion Advocate” because accessories are advocates of fashion. If you wear my accessories, you are being a follower of fashion. haha! It’s all about making statements in a fashionable way. :)
I was a fashion design student for 2 years, I admit that I am not really artistic but I always find something to tweak, always a way to make it my own and keep it original. I was never into high fashion, I feel like it’s too much for me because maybe I am more like simple but rad.
WILDCHILDLUX was founded in Dec. 2010, wherein I’ve already made a few designs and wanted to put up on a website but never really had a chance to, maybe because I wasn’t really into it at first but I’ve already came up with the name WILDCHILDLUX, I actually wanted to name it just WILD CHILD but I think it was already like usual label. The word “lux” I got it from lux et veritas which means “Light and Truth”, so I adopted the lux word into wild child to have a little more positivity in it because I think a lot people think that being a wild child is like going down to dirty things but in my case, no. It’s all about being wild, free, and at the same time bright within the light. This T-shirt line is definitely inspired from books, poems, amazing poets and the artist, Andy Warhol. I also adapted a few car/engineering brands and basketball teams. This apparel are for both men and women, just so you guys know. :)
A warm THANK YOU to everyone who have LIKE WildChildLux on Facebook. I’m very grateful, especially to all the customers. :)
It’s true! If you buy my shirts, you are so helping me get into Makeup Design Academy! I don’t really know any charity or foundations that I can donate to but I believe it is still for a good cause if you buy them because you are helping me. :) haha! I’m in love with fashion, I’m in love with makeup. So get me there! :) LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU ALL!
I have been consistently working for 2 straight weeks, busying myself for more positive innovations. It was a long-term plan before I had the chance to start my clothing line, I think it took me a year to finally get the chance to make it work. Not really a well-connected individual, so I’m basically on a manual though I really didn’t mind because I really want to learn all of these stuff, like finding people, connection and all the other exciting stuff. Right now, I’m processing 11 designs from my line for the first batch of my t-shirts. I’m so stoked and excited! Buyers are so gonna love it.
Also, I’m so excited about sponsoring T-shirts for a tv show! I got a call from the executive producer the other day wanted me to sponsor shirts for the cast for every episode of the show. It’s risky yet an opportunity to be known. I promise to work super hard on this project and be more productive with my designs. I’ll probably start designing when she gives the go signal, and my shirts will probably be seen on season 3 of their show. PAPENG!
I’m settling my heart down for a little while. I mean, of course! After all the heartache that I have overcome, I finally have strength to just let it all go and give my heart a break. Coz really? I’ve seen more spine in jellyfish than you could ever have.
Sometimes you just have to forget what you want to remember what you deserve.
Don’t talk to me because you’re “bored.” I’m not here to entertain you. and don’t come to me only when you need a favor. I don’t like being used. just get the fuck away cause i’m not going to be your last resort. I want someone to talk to me because they sincerely want to. Those kind of people are worth my time.
I’ve been disappointed so many times, not giving a fuck is almost a reflex
“Someday, we will forget the hurt, the reasons we cried, and who caused the pain. We will finally realize that the secret of being free is not revenge, but letting things unfold in their own way and their own time. After all, what matters is not the first, but the last chapter of our lives; which shows how well we ran the race. So smile, laugh, forgive, believe, and love, all over again.
The truth is I still care and always will. I’m not the type of girl to let people walk out of my life and pretend that they don’t matter anymore. I may not like that person anymore or talk to him or her but, I still care. I’m always going to think to my life and say I wondered what happened to so and so. I hope they’re all right I will actually mean it. That is the type of person I am. Once you’re in my heart, you’re there forever.
“When someone is in your heart, they are never truly gone. They can come back to you, even at unlikely times.”-For One More Day, Mitch Albom
It was weird to say goodbye and know that it meant goodbye.